As obvious as this may seem, many couples are not very good at communication. I once heard someone say, "Communication is to relationships is like water to a plant." Those who are able to openly express their feelings in an emotionally safe environment typically deal with situations as they come up and avoid burying frustrations which always have a way of coming out at some point. Poor communication is the biggest problem I see with couples. If you think you might struggle in this area, look up "active listening" and "I feel" statements.

Partners who can make each other laugh tend to be good at de-escalating conflicts when they do arise. It is the great mood lightener. I have noticed the use of funny nicknames can be an indicator of great fondness for one another. The names often stem from a "you had to be there" moment from the beginning of their relationship. If you are in a relationship that lacks humor, try injecting a little. Do something totally out of character like make a crazy face at him/her or play silly joke. Laughter is a powerful tool in any relationship.

Partners who stay in physical contact in some way when they are together are often the happiest ones. These moments do not need to necessarily lead to sexual intimacy but are rather easy ways to say, "I love you," or "I like you," without the words. Whether it is a hug, kiss, swat on the rear or a tussle of the hair, these acts of affection keep couples connected.

Most of us want follow-through with our friendships and our partners. If couples do what they say and say what they do, they create an atmosphere of comfort in knowing their words mean something to the other. A lack of reliability creates a sense of not being cared for by the other or not being prioritized.

This is a term coined by a famous couple’s researcher named John Gottman. His "four horsemen of the Apocalypse" are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. He has shown that couples who demonstrate a high level of these qualities in their relationships are in big trouble. His studies have focused on predicting divorce for married couples but the findings apply to any of us in intimate relationships – married or not. Having these qualities would definitely represent the "opposite" of good communication.

Remember that making changes in relationships can take time and perseverance. But the relationship fitness goal here is greater relationship satisfaction which then becomes greater life satisfaction. Sounds like a "win-win" to me.